Online Diary?

Is that the point of a blog? I've essentially been throwing half thoughts into clumsy sentences about my life and whats going on in my head which I don't know what to do with, so I type away, hoping to make sense of any of it. Now I think about it if anyone does ever read this stuff and has any ideas on the whole situation then feel free to contact me, although that would be an awkward situation wouldn't it? "Oh that thing you wrote about how you really think and feel? Yeah I read that, let's talk about it!" oh dear god, yeah never mind lets just hope no one ever reads any of this, none of it makes sense anyway and I'll be tired of writing them by next week if last time is anything to go by.

3 years really went fast, it's kind of sad that I feel that I've made no progress in my life for so long, like I've been stuck in one place getting older with things and people changing around me while I've been playing with my thumbs thinking about what to do next and not doing anything. I guess on the bright side I haven't done anything to screw over my life? I'm not on drugs, or have debt, or have anything wrong with my physical health (apart from the smoking but you know, shit happens). I have all the tools to go out and make a life worth living and for the first time in forever I'm up for doing just that, because I broke up with someone? No, that doesn't seem right, maybe because I believe her, she had faith in me, that i'm actually worth something where I had lost all faith in myself. Yeah that's it i think, I've never been the person to bet on myself, it's not that there was no faith, just that I was betting on my failure which semi guarantees it's occurrence so I'll stop doing that. Well I'll try, gimme a break it's a lifelong habit which is a little harder to break than just saying it.

I wish i was better at writing, even reading things back is slightly painful, it all seems out of place without any flow to it what-so-ever. That's what i get for typing out thoughts I guess.